Being a foster parent is a unique journey that is walked by those with plenty of love to give. Although it’s a fulfilling lifestyle, fostering is a rollercoaster ride of emotions – from joy and fulfilment to frustration and heartache. But amidst the highs and lows, foster parents are everyday heroes, providing love, stability, and hope to children in need. If you’re a foster parent navigating this emotional journey, know that you’re not alone. In this blog post, we’ll explore some practical coping strategies to help you navigate the emotional rollercoaster of foster care with resilience and grace, and more importantly, to develop an understanding of how coping strategies can make the lives of yourself and everyone around you more positive.
Acknowledge Your Feelings:
First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge and validate your emotions as a foster parent. You may experience a wide range of feelings, including love, worry, guilt, and uncertainty, and that’s okay. Emotions are a natural part of the fostering journey. Imagine taking a can of soft drink and letting it roll around in the car for a while. Sometimes, it’s smooth sailing and the can isn’t impacted. Other times, it may be a gravel road, or no road at all. The can builds more and more pressure, until one day, that soft drink that you forgot about bursts, and covers the whole car in a big mess. This is why we should do our best to avoid bottling up our feelings, as eventually, something will push us over the brink. Take time to check in with yourself regularly and reflect on how you’re feeling. Journaling can be a helpful tool for processing your emotions and gaining clarity.
Build a Support System:
Fostering can be emotionally taxing, so it’s crucial to have a strong support system in place. Picture each person in your life as a piece of rope beneath you. Enough strategically placed thick ropes will form a safety net for you. Reach out to friends, family members, or fellow foster parents who can offer empathy, understanding, and practical support. Look for ‘strong’ ropes. People who can offer support on the level that you need. Online forums and support groups can also be valuable resources for connecting with others who share similar experiences. Remember, it’s okay to lean on others for support when you need it – especially when you have others leaning on you for support as a foster parent.
Practice Self-Care:
Self-care is essential for maintaining your emotional well-being as a foster parent. Make self-care a priority in your daily routine, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Whether it’s taking a walk, practising mindfulness, or indulging in a favourite hobby, find activities that help you recharge and rejuvenate. If you struggle with this, and are a big planner, put aside a specific amount of time, every day or week, for yourself. Treat it as a to-do list; you’ll feel accomplished after completing it, and you won’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself, because it was scheduled! Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, so taking care of yourself is not selfish – it’s necessary.
Set Realistic Expectations:
It’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your fostering journey. Understand that not every day will be easy, and that’s okay. There will be challenges and setbacks along the way, but there will also be moments of joy and fulfilment. Be gentle with yourself, and celebrate the small victories. At times that you feel insufficient, take a moment to consciously think of ten positive things you have introduced to your foster child. Complete this practice with a moment of gratitude – this is the quickest way to switch your thought patterns and create automatic positive thinking. Focus on the impact you’re making in the lives of the children in your care, and remind yourself that your efforts are making a difference.
Seek Professional Support When Needed:
If you find yourself struggling to cope with the emotional challenges of foster care, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Therapists and counsellors who specialise in foster care can provide valuable guidance, support, and coping strategies tailored to your unique needs. Sometimes, the people around us can’t provide the insight we need, or they just aren’t the right people to speak with for support. Having a third party, who can bring your focus onto the bigger picture can be really beneficial. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Celebrate Milestones and Progress:
Finally, take time to celebrate milestones and progress in your fostering journey. Whether it’s a child reaching a developmental milestone, a successful reunification with their birth family, or simply making it through a challenging day, celebrate the moments of growth and resilience. This is not only for you, but for everyone involved. Making a difference is best done through actions. Do you recall a time when you felt strongly about something – maybe you found something funny as a child, maybe something made you angry, and your parent/guardian had the opposite reaction? Did it change the way you responded to and understood a situation? This is the same for foster children. If they are proud or happy with an achievement of theirs, and get no reaction from you, they will internalise this. So allowing yourself to celebrate small things helps your mindset, and your family’s. Acknowledge the positive impact you’re having on the lives of the children in your care, and take pride in the difference you’re making.
In conclusion, being a foster parent is a journey filled with ups and downs, but it’s also a journey filled with love, hope, and transformation. By acknowledging your emotions, building a support system, practising self-care, setting realistic expectations, seeking professional support when needed, and celebrating milestones, you can navigate the emotional rollercoaster of foster care with resilience and grace.
From Glenhaven to you, we sincerely thank you for your dedication, compassion, and commitment to making a difference in the lives of children in need. You are truly everyday heroes.
